doug butabi!
steve butabi!
hotties wanna shake it
i'm going to rape that little man
omg not your brother
You told me you were pretty sure you were god because you knew everything about everyone.
3 different guys in my psych class know me as 3 different names and said hi to me with all 3 different names-Andrea, Grace, and Bella
I've never been more proud of you
Um...celebrating is an understatement. You flashed the guy at the mexican restaurant and then screamed, "It's just my bikini, I swear!"
Dude. Yeah. This is a game changer. I feel dirty and possibly pregnant and it hasn't happened yet.
I think this agreement was sent by God. I get to do my own thing, get laid, and he still makes me breakfast in the morning.
Just found my socks folded and in the back pocket of my jeans. Apparently drunk me refuses to lose shit after the panties incident over New Years.
You just yell-acapella'd the theme to fresh prince of bel air to me while a different song is playing in the bar.
Whoever put the rooster in the elevator is my fucking hero. Who even thinks of that shit?
I'm running on two hours of sleep, a shot of vodka, and half of a granola bar. I can't be held responsible for what I do.
Can you send me the pictures of me riding the penis
i had a flashback to you roaring like a dying tiger and then throwing your wallet (maybe?) at the cat in the living room and saying "you're the only adult that lives here take all my money"
yeah. i tried to refuse to leave unless the burger king himself escorted me out. that didnt fly
Oh, did your mom say anything else about my butt?
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