why is it that everyone in pennsylvannia gets fucking prego??
we just toasted to your mouth on alex's balls at the bar
As soon as he told me I had a 'pretty laugh' I knew I'd be putting out more than I had originally planned.
she insisted that i refer to her boobs by name.
I probably shouldn't have slept with him. I feel like that may have given him the wrong idea.
She pointed at me and told her friend, I'm going to fuck him, its going to be really loud, so yes, i need the whole basement.
His body is like Jesus fingering me while I eat birthday cake
I walked downstairs and he was standing in nothing but his boxers with his dick hanging out warming up eggs in the microwave.
Nothing bad can happen when you have a kiwi flavored condom. Absolutely nothing.
He wants to hookup..at the fair..this is our chance to leave him stranded with no clothes.
She was blowing me when her roommate came in and goes "you want me to tap in?"
You realize once your inheritance is finalized this shit will stop happening right?
I can't relate, I like my boobs roaming free like a wild animal, and I occasionally let them devour small children
We lost you in the bar so we waited outside for you...next thing you know you kick open the doors and yell "I'M ALIVE"
it’s about to be september and all i keep thinking is what if i go (another) full calendar year without having sex?
Omfg I just White Claw shamed a Girl Scout Cookie mom and I feel SO BAD.
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