Did we have sex?
No you put the condom on then passed out on the bed so I left
i saw his dick when we were four, so thats kind of ruined for me now
I say that when we get our grades back we're making a drinking game out of it.
is election day enough of a holiday to justify getting fucked up on a tuesday?
Were you paying girls to come up and grab my cock and tell me I look like bradley Cooper?
My arms are sore from holding up pukeahontas for so long
doing laundry. just found my fishnets from Friday. the ENTIRE crotch is torn out. guess that answers the "did we have sex in the cab" question.....
I smell like icyhot and vodka... Heres to my pulled tendon.
Get the fuck back here. Your brother taped bottle rockets to the front of his scooter and is bombing around screaming, "Rest in peace, Goose!"
Had the best sex Thursday night then Friday night I met his girlfriend. The worst thing is we became friends like she gave me her number.
I just used my dick as to measure where my desk would go because I don't have a tape measure or a ruler.
I'm going to preface tonight by saying that I'm sorry for tequila, shopping carts, and having to chase me.
She just kept roaring and saying Katy Perry had nothing on her. Wtf did she take?
We haven't had hot water in our dorm all weekend. Do you know if there is any other way to wash off shame?
I would accept a super bowl ring as an engagement ring
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