First, he can't make me cum.. And now, he can't get it up because he LOVES me?!!??! i don't think so.
dude. late night with jimmy fallon isnt even funny. the people in the audience there to see him dont even think hes funny.
kinda like you and your friends.
Well, technically I had a shirt on, it was just around my waist.
He apologized for his naked psychotic episode and then we had goodbye sex on his sailboat
I wish a box of wine came w a hose. It'd be so much easier to drink from.�
Walking through campus with a grocery bag full of pot brownies. I'm like the santa claus of 4/20
I didn't pay for a single drink 'help me I'm poor' was my drink pickup line. it totally worked.
Apparently I'm ahead in the foot race to his dick because I'm not insane. If I'd have known that's all it took, I'd have worn sweat pants more often.
did you just take a shot to penises and friendship?
You left me alone with nothing but donuts and my thoughts.
I went to her house she had a kid pool in her living room watching the vacation channel drinking rum out of the bottle saying" life is what you make it. Mines a vacation!!!"
Three months into our sexual relationship, he comes out with "Your body is efficient". WTF do I do with THAT?
He told me to tell my ass that he loved and missed it, and even though he hasn't known it long, it might be the one for him
Our first time hooking up was on New Years and we've managed to hook up every holiday since, I'm hoping this lasts until 2016 just to fulfill my American Holiday sex fantasy I never knew I had
Is it just me or is Michael Jackson blasting throughout the house
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