Crying babies in a bar. Really?
And she just changed the baby's diaper on the table. It's killing the beer garden.
I peed while puking? Even better
Yes you most deff did. Ultimate multi tasker you are
I haven't been this sober since birth.
He said his penis was a 1 woman penis with a conscience an I was that woman...technically a declaration of commitment rite?
you were standing in two feet of water, screaming at people walking by to "call river rescue".
You kept running up to random groups of people and saying "I'm a Dallas Cowboy Cheerleader so we all have to chug our drinks!" and they all listened to you.
Not sure how I feel about St Psts and March Madness being on the same weekend. I feel like I've been screwed out of a drunk holiday.
Almost there.
define "almost". like I have enough time to watch a youtube video or oh shit, put on some goddamn pants because they're in the driveway.
ahhhh just came to creep and you're not there AND your thong you were wearing last night is on the floor..someone has some explaining to do
She just took a mirror selfie at the hospital while in labor.
i need to un-sleep with a few of those brothers before we ever go back to that house again. i'm serious. i will not be a fraternity groupie.
i just love the holidays, i hotboxed a gingerbread house last night
Literally breaking up to my boyfriend while jamming out to Feraglicious
I mean I'd assume the strange looks are on account of the fact that I'd imagine people normally don't stink of booze on an 8:14am flight.
We were so amazed while watching mission impossible ghost protocol last night we didn't even have sex
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