If Ritalin and Plan B had an illegitimate child it would smell like me.
a girl just showed up to class in a zip up hoddie and sweat pants. said she over slept. i guess she got hot and unzipped it , it was only then she realized was sleeping without a shirt or bra.
you should buy a sheep. A) you get an awesome pet. B) free coat
I have before 2 am pics and after 2am pics, which do you want to see first?
Nothing like a marijuana chart of usage in each country to make me understand math.
Our date was amazing and I would like to reward you with a blow job under your desk.
I can pencil you in at 3:30
Ummm Im the uneducated alcoholic of the group... if I say its a bad idea, its probably a bad idea.
Thats like me asking what you think of antisocial polish guys with mysterious rashes
The water at the venue tasted HORRIBLE so I just kept drinking booze. It was like the medievals.
My mom is selling her car. I'm secretly relieved I won't ever have to tell her about that time you puked in it
Just laying in bed with my vibrator eating cold tortillas and listening to Savage Garden.
Have you ever gotten so angry that you stripped in public?
Just remember: We don't tell our English professor about our fetishes unless she specifically asks about them.
I woke up in his closet, with my shirt inside out and backwards, Rolos in my hand, a tortilla with a face carved into it stuck to the fridge with a magnet, a homemade bong next to the bed, and the door off the hinges... I need a chaperone.
Yea and there’s destruction when we’re together, mostly of our livers but W/e
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