I wonder what it would be like to masturbate in space
you need to know that there is a kid here wearing an i mosh for Jesus shirt
Don't let the fact that shes seen my penis discourage you
I took my exam the next day still drunk and failed, but I kno for a fact that I filled in the bubbles for my name perfectly
I have a boner and a quesadilla why aren't you here
After a few mimosas, my mom started sharing her plans to move out of the house and into a retirement village so she can be the youngest one there and find herself a "nice old sugar daddy." Needless to say, break has not started off well...
Just casually ripping a bowl in the chicken coop, with the chickens. NBD
anyone who texts me today gets a complimentary picture of my mangled foot. starting with you.
ewwwww wtf when you left last night you were fine?
There is a direct correlation between gooch size and male fertility. Science.
We really gotta change brands again because 2-ply is making us feel like the celebrities we aren't.
See I would make a great girlfriend. My surprises are sex and burritos. What else do guys want
Just so you know. And I'm telling you this because I care deeply for you. Blue raspberry poptarts taste exactly the same as the regular raspberry ones.
The poop emoji wasn't even in my recents. Does that mean I'm growing up?
I just paid $10 for tinder plus so that I could change my location to Rio and match with Olympic Athletes
You know, I'm starting to enjoy brazilians. One day I'm going to make a therapist very very happy.
Randomize
