What's the big deal? you guys fuck
3 times is my limit. I don't even want to know you exist after 3 times
i think he drugged the pie. i'll get back to you on that later.
I feel like after that many guys, all of the water in your body is just replaced with pure jizz, honestly.
He wanted me to come over on Christmas...inviting your fuck buddy over for the holidays is just something you don't do.
The best thing about this time of year is that all I have to do is add a random mardi gras decoration to my cart full of alcohol and boom, no more judging
I woke up in the basement of a pizza restaurant... I would say the tequila hit me pretty hard.
Last night I watered my lawn and smoked a joint then cooked a steak. I'm really killing this adulthood thing.
I’m not closing myself off the to the possibility of making a bad life choice.
I found a loose wire in my thermostat. Couldn't find the pliers, so I used a nipple clamp to fix it.
Update: drank half a bottle of Bourbon and texted three ex's. Waiting for the roommates to go to sleep so I can raid the fridge.
do you know of a way I can die but like NOT die? like not being unconcious, just ascending to an astral plane for a few weeks or months in real world time so i can sort my issues out away from the rigors of life kinda deal, you know?
My bed smells like the plague
Um I got a ride home from the bar with two random boys and one tried to bang me on my parents riding mower
He started out in my roommates bed and by the end of the night was in mine, not sure how that went down. But he left happy in the morning.
just answer this one ? for me. why is there human shit in my shower right now?
Randomize
