I'm dying. Please wear something slutty to my funeral.
There were 4 naked women demanding my presence. Of COURSE I got into the pool.
I feel like he knows I had a dream about him eating me out in the janitors closet at the holiday party. He's giving me THAT look.
I think I have internal bruising from those poses we were doing last night. My own ribs hurt me. I don't understand.
I honestly wish you had parked the car in the terminal garage and fucked me in the backseat but I guess I should be more forward
Who is he, asking me if im dtf without a question mark
...
I wore water proof eyeliner just incase the first picture of me of 2012 is a mugshot
I was drunk petting a fox and taking shots of Jager. That's about as outdoorsy as it gets.
Grass is always greener, Allison, grass is always greener
The grass is drunker and I'm lying down on it
no strings attached, like you could fuck him and then throw him off a building right after
This place is a maelstrom of dicks.
I mean as in stuck up bastards, not actual, desirable male genitalia. My point is, come pick me up fast, please!
The highlight of the trip was definitely my dad telling me that I "used to be his prettiest daughter."
Whelp, I woke up on the front lawn this morning. I have got to stop wearing these underwear. Every time I do, I end up puking in someone's greenery.
i almost got into an argument defending my life choices with a guinea pig eating chocolate cake at 4am
I blame her lesbian super powers of coercion.
Randomize
