big game today.. looking forward to seeing that magic win, and then i will celebrate with a nude dip in lake Eola.. anyone else in??
and i forgot to tell you that my armpit hair is now completely grown back. man i love winter.
i just learned how to squirt via google. life is good.
tagging him in all 73 close-ups of your cleavage might have been a little obvious.
I'm proud of our boobs and what they could potentially achieve in life.
he didn't want to fuck because he was too busy skateboarding. what are we 12? I'm too old for this shit.
He told me I just kept sending him the word sex and dollar signs.
He just showed up to brunch with one shoe and only the battery from his phone.
Fixing to yell "you're too hot for her" at a Gerard butler look alike. There is absolutely no way this is going to end well...
I fake pass out to avoid hookups sometimes. Last night I fake slept on my bathroom floor for like 2 hours before the guy left.
Nypd just made jon and hayes chug their forties.
Just ran into her dad at the strip club. He bought me a dance. I think i found a winner.
FUCK YOU VODKA I'M TRYING TO ADULT RIGHT NOW
Yeah I know my dick is weird, but I've surprisingly had a lot of fun with it.
I threw a lamp at you?
Yes, yes you did.
Awesome
Randomize
