would it be inappropriate to describe you with the phrase "bigass titties"?
He cant even get with danielle. Thats like striking out in t-ball
i've met an abundance of virgins and guys who where flip flops, i thinks there's a correlation
I asked her if she was the outdoorsy type, she replied "I had sex on a fourwheeler once, does that count?"
There will be two dogs there to provide supervision. Not to worry.
I know this is really fun but I don't wanna glow anymore
and then we all passionately sang "what if god was one of us" until everyone passed out in the grass
Those drunk pictures you took of me? My mom is showing those to my grandparents.
Remember when you walked in on me sleeping INSIDE a pillowcase?
What's the worst that could happen? I'm already broke and my leg's already broken
His dick's name has evolved from Sebastian to Big Daddy to Barbara Streisand to Barbara Walters. I think the transformation is finally complete.
I found more straws in my beard this morning. Please stop doing that.
Matched with the lumberjack. Here's your wedding invite.
I ate too many pot brownies and passed out topless with my boobs painted like the American flag
I can always count on you to keep my boobs honest
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