He said he had a gf but the monogamy was "only implied".
Fun fact: Antibacterial soap will not take the combined smell of bbq sauce and vagina off your hands.
It was beyond pathetic. You yelled her name at every blonde chick we saw hoping it would be her. Then you puked your corn dog
I'm gonna have to fantasize about her dying just to get off.
Last awkward moment of 2011: your ex gf grinding on me in front of her husband.
Get your penis over here NOW. emergency
Oh god our sink is a cavalcade of horrors. Brb sacrificing a goat and putting everything in the dishwasher forever
Thank you for not boning my boss.
Neither of us have work tomorrow and we live w/n walking distance. This is your official Sandy booty call. Come rock me like a hurricane.
Get the cougar, get the cougar, get the cougar. Act like an injured baby deer. She will either eat you alive or nurse you back to health either way its still sex.
ok thanks goodnight
Also before you go to bed i just have to get it out there that i really like macklemore as a person
My boobs are literally freaking out because I've been wearing a bra for more than three hours....I need to go out more...
Blow jobs in the hobby lobby parking lot, oh lawd there gonna pray for me when they review those tapes ...
I got high and had sex with reindeer antlers on. It was magical and animalistic. Tia the season.
RESPOND QUICKLY THIS IS AN EMERGENCY!!! LITERALLY AN 11 INCH DICK!!!!! HELP.
Randomize
