To answer your question of whether I "went back," tits just informed me I was kicked out for falling off my barstool and passing out on the floor...
Should I go home with him even though I know my Run DMC undies have skid marks on them?
cab driver says "I saw your friend who opens her legs. she went home with two guys." pretty sure he was talking about you
I swear it's like I have a jerk off quota I have to meet each week. If I miss three days I have a wet dream and it's like a wasted jizz, and it gets everywhereeeeeee.
He told me I took off my shirt, asked for the latino thunder and jumped on him. I want to question this but it sounds too much like me.
Found a dirty envelope on my seat w ur name and $122.50 written on the front. Nothing inside but what looks like dirty pine needles
I went in the closet and cried, then the bathroom and cried, and lastly he showed me his penis and I cried. It was a weird night.
I would like to apologize once again for rubbing your thigh with my hands and face for a very long time last night.
Defrosting my uncrustable with my laptop...Hungover dinner
we just drove past a kid stuck in a tree what a wonderful time to be alive
Uhmmmm is there really any way to tactfully ask "you into me jerking you off with my feet... or nah" cause if you find one let me know 😂
the guy next to you kind of looks like a penguin. i'm going to fuck him
I love you.
Bad choice
I threw up soo much that I started crying. Then his grandma randomly came in and started rubbing my back...
I'm a peeled potato compared to her. I'm a peeled potato compared to anyone. I'm a peeled potato.
Are you high?
Randomize
