Public safety found my id!
And i can't find my bra so i'm assuming they found my bra with my id which would explain the disapproving tone the lady on the phone had.
do people in england often walk their sheep on leashes? or is this guy the exception to the rule?
Dude, you were so drunk last night that when we went into subway, you forgot the word for bread.
I just wished the taco bell drive thru guy a happy cinco de mayo. Who says arizonians hate mexicans?
He took out the lube and started calling it fuck fluid
Speaking of gay, some dude in a life vest just goes, we should pull our dicks out! To larry. Were leaving now. I saw penis
We would be rich. And the whole world would be stoned.
Prop 8 repealed and I FINALLY got my period. Good day for America!!!
I have a sixth sense for large penises and lack of morals
He's tiny, but ripped. Like a stacked hobbit. He's going to pull our sexy, crime-fighting rickshaw.
A stripper choked me last night. Then I choked her. Now we're going on a date this Saturday.
Ok maybe second best. He dated a stripper. Can't compete with that level of hoeness
Next time we smoke please remind me to put my bong back in my build a bear box. My mom says if I leave it out one more time she's keeping it for herself.
There will be plenty of opportunity for me to sexualize Mike via VenMo.
I just elbowed a roll of wrapping paper, and said “ohh sorry”. I’m still drunk.
Randomize
