My professor is talking about sperm and all I can think about is my mouth
I have no valid justification for peeing in your kitchen, but I don't think it's worth breaking up over.
And I was slip and sliding my life away on a giant tarp with tons of soap and bitches. Priorities man, priorities.
Heaven was on the 3rd floor and Hell was on the first. When the cop walked up he was confused as to who the noise complaint was for and wrote both apartments a noise violation.
Hey, you gotta think, is this REALLY the penis you wanna see for the rest of your life? THINK!
Love me.
GO THE FUCK TO BED IT'S 3AM I AM NOT TAKING YOU TO MCDONALDS.
Just for one nugget?
Don't come. It's not even a party it's a total sausage fest. Like 20 drunk dudes in a bedroom. We can still drink by ourselves though it'll be ok
Lets go hit some boners bro!
I appreciate the acceptance and inclusion, but that's not how we gay men talk.
Well my summer started by me waking up in a tube on the side of the pond this morning with 2 of my friends. So that's good..
I was so gone I thought the cops banging on my door were kids from the party trying to get into my room... needless to say, I started moaning louder so they would take the hint.
When you get this divorce finalized we're going to mid evil times AND pirate dining adventure. We're gonna find you a couple of real men and make them joust/swashbuckle for your affection. My treat.
I'm trying to find a place to hide weed in my mother in law's house...
Married life problems?
Soo I'm in the trunk of a car drunk about to jump on trampolines. My life rocks!
i just cleaned my bong... I do not feel healthy
You remember my neighbor with the perfect ass? It's even better in assless chaps.
Randomize
