my computer doesn't work...
why?
i puked on it last night
Even if he doesn't call, at least I can say i fucked a mascot.
he was already passed out before we got there, so i already knew i was going to like him
he screamed PILLOW FIGHT and hit branden in the head with a pillow that had a fifth of vodka in it. then he asked why he wasnt laughing
We now know how the night ended in arrest according to the flip camera I did 10 handle pulls and beer bonged a 40. My life choices are getting worse and worse this is your fault.
he was very distressed by my statements that there could have been balls on shoulders without awareness
Pretty sure that's a used tampon hanging from the tree outside my window.
Also, I cannot stop picturing myself in a bar, 3 years from now ordering soda. Just soda. 30 pounds over weight and wearing a cat sweater. I feel like I'm heading in the wrong direction in life.
I woke up with $140 in twenties in my bra and have never been more puzzled.
Actually going to jail after your wedding is NOT part of the plan.
He called out my ex's name during sex.
Alex is a pretty common unisex name.
It was the same Alex. I asked.
I'm sober now, I ate a whole cantaloupe.
Hows your mom
Shes good, she claims she wasnt drunk
How is it that I know 4 different bartenders who won't charge me for drinks, but I can't get laid?
A drunk frat boy just jumped on the hood of my car while I was driving down Bridge St. He yelled at me to keep going since he was playing frogger and needed another car to jump on... or a log. I hate this town.
Randomize