How do I get over judging people who I would be exactly like if I had a boyfriend
Get a boyfriend
There's a man in a pair of gray footie pajamas and a paper crown watching the kids at the playground. It was easier to tell who was a pedophile before Where the Wild Things Are came out.
Watched him slip somethin into her drink. Dragged him of his bar stool, punched him out, and told her what i saw. Bartender used some chemical to confirm presence of rophynol. Just woke up at her place
At least now when I say "never again" the likelihood is that it won't actually happen again the next weekend...that my friend is called growth
He passed out in the car on the way to the party. Seabiscuit tripped before the race even started....Lil bitch....
Sangria Sundays can't keep happening. Even my second grade students know I'm hungover. Benji even gave me his oreos its that bad
we're all going for beer and wings at 7. inflate your girlfriend and bring her along too.
I woke up in a stranger's bed wearing nothing but santa socks.
He kept sending me videos of his dogs while I was trying to masturbate. At what point does getting vagina-block apply?
he appreciated my fucking vagina for two hours he can appreciate my honesty
My early Valentine's Day one night stand just took an uber home. Thank you, technology, for letting me enjoy this day in peace. 😍
I gave my girlfriend a ring to celebrate our anniversary, she thought It was an engagement ring. Now im getting married and I don't know what to do.
All I know is I woke up in the back seat of my car, with the engine on, and my gps navigated to florida.
I think the night went to shit after he started sweating and crying about a taco he dropped on the ground 3 years ago. No more blind dates
No, this year you're all getting coupons for things like "no yelling because you had sex in my apartment" or "the last beer."
Randomize
