Was it cool?
About as cool as only getting a handjob on your honeymoon.
totally just realized while washing my face that Cetaphil looks like semen.
thanks for brining me home and putting me in my bed. the pillow fort your built around me is also appreciated.
You know the party was great when the birthday girl gets arrested
HOLY FUCK I JUST GOT WOKEN UP BY THUNDER!!!!!
I THINK I SHARTED
He said to use 30 racks as chairs and then drink til we fall thru the box
Yeahhh, everybody is so helpful when a pretty girl is crying hysterically and has only one shoe and a six pack.
He used the panoramic camera on his iPhone to take a picture of his dick. And it actually filled it. Pretty sure I just came.
Notice how both of our plans for hooking up with these guys involve getting them drunk?
Oh my God, we're like men but with great boobs.
It's a lube slip n slide down the hallway now. Details later.
I'm pretty sure the guy who was grinding on me while I was trying to get a drink at he bar was one of my tinder matches
He's watching Always Sunny and eating refried beans straight from the can.
A guy at my table is reading a magazine called "Cheese Connoisseur"
on the bright side i found your panties and the lid to the nutella
Apparently I told the mayor I want to be a trophy wife
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