hey this is lauren, i have to type for jon because he's convinced the tongs he's holding are his real hands
Please explain to me why I only attract Mormon guys. Just explain that to me.
I think it's God trying to counter your lustful nature. Imagine if Agnostics liked you. You'd never come out of your bedroom.
Is it weird that we showed each other our pussy's and pointed out the good and bad things about each others??
do you think they ever dumped Gatorade over Michael Vick's head after his dog won?
we saw a llama on the side of the road. That's when we knew everything was going to be alright.
We left an ass print on the piano.
Cognac is not meant to be taken in shots. I just wanted you to know the desperation of last night.
Well he has that kind of carefree attitude that comes from a big penis
We defiantly won best dressed in the ER tonight
Why is there a school picture of an 8 year old boy in my pocket...?
I'm not really made for random hookups.. i'm like a swan.. i don't wanna have random swan sex. i just wanna have one swan hubby and fly around the world together and eat bread that people throw at us..
on my way to nyc to take a survey about my sexual activity. if you dont hear from me for a few days, assume they had me committed...
After the keg stand you collapsed, hit your head on the floor, started seizing and after 20 seconds got back up and said "hah, I remember my first beer"
This was the first time I've ever pushed myself until I vomited. Sorry, random couple laying on a dock at 8:30am. I would have picked a better spot so you didn't have to watch/listen to me vomit, but you guys were being MAD quiet. I had no idea you were there.
I wasn't going to drink. Then there was alcohol so I gave that up.
Randomize
