That girl would be great looking if she lost 1000 pounds and cut off her head.
bars should really give you discounts for bringing your own shot glass
i'm sorry, but my penis isnt the solution to your problems
You gave the cab driver your pants as collateral while you ran in the house for money.
I JUST REALIZED HOW SOFT YOUR TABLE IS! and I also just started rolling
The fairy wings and cowboy hats were not the issue. The bag of cocaine that I held in the air as we drove in the parade might have been.
you took a potato out of your pocket and just started eating it raw. don't know where the potato came from though
21st birthday = success
I don't always steal things but when i do it is a six foot five dos equis guy
i'm teaching a bunch of people how to grow weed over snapchat. no shame.
I puked on his mom. Not my proudest moment
God if that man would just have sex with me every time I got mad life would be so much easier...
I told the American that we should start banging in Canada incase I get hurt and have to go to the hospital.. is that rude to say?
In other news, I had my first sex related injury of the school year so that's cool
Well the streak is over, I saw a penis today
Just fyi i'm now butt naked in a steam room smoking a bong in some guys house. i sense the weed penetrating my pores.
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