you definitely held a convo with a hobo
we have a secret handshake
well apparently i yelled MY VAGINA WAS ANNIHILATED and his whole family heard
Just took a beer bong out of snuffaluffagus's trunk. Your move
So I missed her say 'don't' before 'come in me'. She felt what was happening and freaked - which actually made the moment 100x better.
Dude I could put my dick between the gap in her teeth.. This is the last time we are hanging out with Kentucky girls
She called to say she's single and blow job season is back.
You insisted we put glow sticks on you so that we didn't lose you if you went pee in the dark.
Jake bring pizza.
JAKE BRING PIZZA.
I've got mace and a condom. Ready to roll either way and keeping my pimp hand strong.
I was jumping over your garbage can screaming "Im a snow cat!!" ..Who wouldn't want to see that?
Lets just say...I plan on being a bigger shitshow than Miley Cyrus at the VMA'S
I know how vodka works Grace. I'm drunk, not stupid.
The best part of the night was you shouting "I have to take the LSAT tomorrow" between shots of fireball.
He just said Bill Nye is just a dude. If I ever considered sleeping with him, I never will now.
She meowed at me. Repeatedly. Then she asked what was wrong with me because I didn't understand her.
Randomize
