dude i woke up laying next to some guy. i dont have my bra or his name. he has a nice tv though.
you won't ask to borrow his earbuds because you think it's gross, but you'll have sex with him?
Even Lady Gaga hates Purdue
She threw up a whole curly fry. A. WHOLE. CURLY. FRY.
She walked in, looked at the bed, sniffed, sighed, and went to grab her cleaning supplies. I'd say she knows.
Found a guy passed out on the coffee table with a thong duct taped from ear to ear.
If this week is any indication of my life here I've got to get out ASAP. My liver can't hack it.
See, thats where im at with my life, welcome to the slut yaht we will be cruising comfortably all summer at an extremely drunken relaxing pace S.S. Slut Bucket
So I got hit in the face with a frying pan. So def wont be at work for first break if I'm there at all
He wanted to have sex in a church because he has keys to it from court-ordered community service. WHAT IS STANDARDS?
So that groomsmen was naked under his kilt. Also I just had sex in the elevator. And yes, those two updates are definitely related.
i think the sex is so good because i get a contact high just from fucking him
So...guess who had sex tied to the ladder of a caboose under the stars in Joshua Tree? This bitch
A legendary roster of degenerates has been assembled.
Still riding the magical train of drugs so, yeah, Id say I feel great
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