can you sing with all the voices of the mountain? can you paint with al the colors of the windddd
wasted?
im pocohantasssss
He just turned on a sound machine. I need to get the fuck out of here.
Oh i know my limit. 9 shots after i've given blood.
I try to help out whenever I can. Speaking of rough nights I woke up half naked on Brady's couch with bloody paper towels duct taped to my foot.
But it's a terrible idea. One erection and it's gonna go wrong
You do realize that you're sleeping with a man who is part of a gay harem, right?
I wonder if her husband knows I have my own drawer at the apartment
The night went downhill when he lit her purse on fire and tried putting it out with vodka
I told her my hands were paint brushes and her vagina was my canvas
May the one with the liver that just won't quit win
It's like you're the one guy who got the "girls have clits" memo.
Also one of my neighbors is blasting "pumped up kicks" and possibly butchering some chickens
You wanted to go find him and we told you to sit down cause you kept stumbling. You yelled " I CAN STAND!! It's the walking part I can't figure out!"
An old biker dude just flirted with me at Food City. I enjoyed it. God damn I need to get laid.
My ex just brought my grandpa weed. Not sure how I feel about this.
Randomize
