As long as they suck a good dick I don't care what fruit they have and where they have it
I am so stoned and my professor is handing out candy. I love Halloween.
By the end of the night i was making legitimate noises not just saying moo.
Just hooked up on shake weight girl's dad's porsche. What are YOU doing with your life?
I puked right in front of him after winning beer olympics and he still hooked up with me. My life is so easy.
Never thought I'd say this but I just want to go home, ice my balls, and pop a Vicodin.
Nothing is more important than the last pool party of the season. Call in sick or gay or something.
Just walked out of 7 11 still in uniform when 4 girls in bikinis in a convertable screamed "we fuck firefighters!"
Career choice validated
Im done having sex . he ruined it for me after he said " can we use my penis as a shovel ?"
I thought you just gave him blowjobs and he criticized your drug use.
His flight is delayed. Mother Nature is delaying me from sex.
Like I just asked Greg why I don't have a crown for my vagina. That drunk.
just had sex in a stairwell with six feet five inches worth of drama
its liver damage thursday
She really wants to hug you. With her vagina.
Randomize
