so... another position just opened up(704) Oh really?(704) Is it John's?(704) Or did you find a new way to take a penis?
Wow senior week shows you new things about yourself
Is this the I'm gay speech?
god, you should never be in the FBI. you'd give away america's secrets to any boy who asked.
She ordered a salad and a budweiser. I love her.
I just watched her pee in a trashcan, im still probably going to fuck her, what does that say about my standards
Drinking wine in my childhood bed getting ready to go to sleep in order to wake up for my menial temp job. Thanks, college degree, I can handle the real world.
But i guess when you use blowjob as a verb you are entitled to some language allowances
I should probably file for unemployment. Sometime between last night and 4 AM I facebooked my manager the lyrics to hoe by ludacris. I'm just projecting ahead here.
Only you would get a date out of getting hit by a car
If thou arrisest to consciousness before I, rise me to an office of alertness for occupations such as brunch. Warm Regards, your roommate.
You crawled everywhere and rolled in ice cream. No more vodka for a month.
Found a fruit roll up in my pocket this morning. This means my daughter has a peach blunt wrap in her lunchbox.
I like the wholesome side of you
I'm so goddamned horny I could use all my pent up energy to tear a redwood out by its roots.
Last night was just a whirlwind of Mario Brothers and sex.
He’s like Batman if Batman went down on me and gave me multiple toe curling orgasms. He left without saying a word before I pulled the pillow off my face
Find out if he’s shared his techniques with a friend and set me up with him. You know I’ve always had a thing for Robin!!!!
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