You told her the u were going to wrap your dick around her neck and start her like a lawn mower. thats why she left.
After I told my husband the docter shot me in the ass, he said - oh they can but I can't?!
this chick on a show just showed her boobs and let some guy paint them others asked why she did it and her reply i quote "i was bored" why dont chicks get bored more often
i forgot beer had calories. that would explain alot.
Sitting here wishing there were men in my life.
me too. too bad ive decided to fill that hole with cookie dough, closing the door to future men one fat cell at a time.
he confused my yawn for an orgasm
I need a vacation from myself..this is duely noted after I tried giving myself a concussion last night
If we both finish he brings me a beer and cookies, if only he finishes I get wine and cheesecake. I think I'm in love.
Are sex swings allowed in dorms
Made up a full house drinking game
On my way.
Why would you keep yourself in a sharting situation
Hungover on St. Patrick's Day. I did this backwards.
So I was laying on the couch reading a book and he texted me. All I saw was the image of him spitting on my vagina last night in the moonlight. I gagged.
I JUST NEEDED TO TELL YOU I JUST FUCKED TWO BOYS IN THE SPAN OF LIKE THREE HOURS AND ONE OF THEM WAS MY SISTERS PROM DATE FROM HIGH SCHOOL IM LOWKEY BOTH PROUD AND ASHAMED
If I slept with her my dick would come out glittery
coward.
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