His vagina is bleeding blood all over the court
Im so hungover
Come over i have rolls
Ecstasy rolls or Challah rolls?
just met our mailman at a party, he asked me out. i said yes, but only if he picks me up in the mail truck. how jealous are you
I gave up sex for lent.
I guess that means I'm postponing our date until after Easter.
I'm so ready for finals. She finally agreed to skypesex me from spain so now i'm up until 4am studying every morning waiting for her to get online
he just asked me to email him a handle of captain morgans...how sober do you think he is?
I'd invite him but there's too many people who have fucked me going already
This is no lauging matter. Huge cock equals great sex. Marriage to huge cock equals great life.
Right now I can't do anything that will ban me from donating plasma. That is a legit source of income for me.
Did we fight the bathroom girl ? She just wanted to give us lotion and condoms.
She called me in the morning crying, but I was busy cleaning up bird guts, very hungover. It was a very surreal morning.
I have to be at work in a hour. Can you sufficiently fuck me in 35 minutes?
I don't hate him I just hate being present to see him consume 80 dollars worth of alcohol and then try to tip people with left over money on a Walmart gift card
I'm not sure what happened last night but my dog has a red cup taped to his back with a little beer and a ping pong ball in it..
We invented a new game.
I was not drunk enough for that final.
Randomize
