its raining. im dressed as yoda and im trick or treating alone. and i wonder why im still a virgin..
the protein jug says add 2 scoops to your favorite beverage. guess who just found a way to make sam adams healthy? THIS GUY
He just said "fuck you" to the bowl he's eating things out of
Two dudes. Loud music. Dancing shirtless possibly naked. Why would I ever need cable?!
so exactly what is concert sex etiquette? Before, during or after???
all of the above
It wasn't like a party or anything. They played PlayStation and talked about sports. Then I threw up on his porch.
My mom has finally acknowledged my soft spot for Russians. Finally.
Guess who just got a Christian Beliefs class to seriously discuss the spiritual implications of dolphin rape?
Wait.....I ate a raw potato lastnight.
all we have is white fucking wine this is a travesty it's christmas not a fucking funeral
I woke up with your vibrator in my face
Last time I "ran into him" I ended up with the clap and had to explain why the ladder was missing from the garage.
I'm going to target high, just in case I ask you where my paycheck went later
I'm drunkenly throwing popcorn at a spider, fuck him. Why does his scary 8 legs get to be happy?
we have beer and we're watching the birds have sex in our yard.
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