My cock was attacked by outdoor plants
Do you think the new Crest Whitestrips Advance Seal would stay on while I give him head? It would be great to knock out 2 things at once...
I just saw a girl make a shank with the underwire in her bra...
Your my favorite hello and hardest goodbye.
And I especially mean that last part, half the time you pass out somewhere and it is impossible to get you to leave.
I can do it, this is my punishment and I will accept it, plus id like to see the look on peoples faces when I throw up on them
I'm pretty sure we organized our beer pong teams according to who's been circumsized...
We where late for the party because we spent the last hour staring at a towl becase we thought it was a raccoon
You would ignore him even if it wasn't NoManUary. It could be the Winter of a Thousand Dicks and you wouldn't talk to that guy.
The Winter of A Thousand Dicks sounds terrifying!!!
So I've decided to grow a vagina forest. Because I'm single and it's like a zen garden. Brings a new meaning to long hair don't care.
Why the hell did you invite him? He's gonna bring two more inches of dick and zero fun.
Topless dodge ball cldnt top that
How drunk is she?
She's trying to French braid the dogs hair, there's no stopping her
I asked him for something to clean up with after sex and he handed me a sham wow. A SHAM WOW
Wow. I want to climb Santa. You've made my mind go places I wasn't prepared to explore.
On the plus side, he ate me out and gave me an orgasm. But he also talked about robots during sex and mispronounced it like the dad in the goldbergs and called them “robits”
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