I only have two rules. But i've fotgotten those rules and replaced them w 2 other rules
so you know how i got laid the other night? well a condom just came out of me and i dont know whether to be grossed out or happy
i am grossed the fuck out
and next time when you feel me up, do it right
woke up with 15 BAGS of hot dog buns in my passenger seat... jameson strikes again
on the last problem of the exam i just drew a picture of a cat and left
I never thought I would get head to the lion king soundtrack
I need a secretary to manage my drinking schedule.
Ya know, I lied. I wouldn't mess with him. Not because of the crazy/rehab issues... but because he wears tank-tops.
He's eating a cream cheese sandwich. He's obviously distressed.
The polish Muslims are throwin paczkis into the crowd and I'm beer 6 before 11 am
I've always wanted to pass out in a bathtub
I think most people do. Your only real mistake was turning the water on first.
he told me he had a dream that he laid his head in my lap and silently gazed up at me. WHY AM I ALWAYS THE DUDE IN RELATIONSHIPS
Vodka Vensday. With a Russian accent... It counts.
When I walked out of the bathroom and you were literally dancing, you looked at me and said 'this is how I dance'. And then continued.
I woke up naked in a tent. I was more upset that the air mattress had deflated.
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