Grow some girl-balls and come out already
From the prices on this menu it looks like I have no choice. I have to blow him.
the parents are super pissed...made eye contact with the mom while going down on another girl
We forgot to go back and get the brick YOU WANTED TO BRING INTO THE BAR?
Btw. Made out with a random kid at a frat. It's all good though. He invited us to his frat party tomorrow so yay! For having plans!
If I was gonna be at your campus for halloween weekend, I'd dress up as the masked horny fairy and give out condoms. I'm so thoughtful.
Would it be weird if your parents sold me weed?
Oh my goodness please please please my inner slut needs some pampering, shes getting rusty and nothings worse than a rusty slut
I think mark twain said that originally
I smoked that joint really fast and now I'm so high I'm crawling around on all 4 giving my dogs piggie back rides pretending its the macy day parade for dogs and I'm their giant human float.
Who has the safety vest from this past weekend Additionally, who has the dancemaster glove?
You ever fart so bad at work that you think about taking a sick day just to spare your coworkers from the savage olfactory beating they are about to receive?
Don't worry about us we're making Mac and cheese
MAC AND CHEESE ABORTED, WE HAD FIRE
i’n just gonna forge ahead, gag reflex be DAMNED.
How did I get up here...did jesus lift me up
It’s just a penis. It’s like every other penis except it’s not the one you’re married to. Ride it or don’t ride it, but don’t agonize about it
Your not going to hell because you need some strange and the neighbor noticed you look damn good in a bikini
Randomize
