If he doesn't notice me by the next party, i'm just gonna go up to him and pll his pants down and blow him.
Sounds like a plan.
I just saw a Puerto Rican child between the ages of 8 and 11 with a faint mustache talking very loudly on the bluetooth in his ear about how "Skittles are played the fuck out"
no really all good couples have similar hair colors!
Peeing in public by noon, this is not a good indicator for the day.
Dude she looks like a female richard gere plus 400 pounds.
So it's always a good weekend when you don't get any sleep, try opening a bottle of wine on rocks, and end up needing a tetanus booster for our stupidity... Same thing next weekend?
He told me "it wants a kiss" WHY HAS THIS HAPPENED WITH 2 DIFFERENT PEOPLE.
Drinking heavily at 3pm and about to rescue a 30lb street turtle. Dont even bother attempting to rise to this level bitch
Also, I'm sat on the floor drinking cava because life is just not working for me tonight.
Just had a guy try to pull the maraca out of my shirt with his teeth... Wtf
Made out with some dude at the bar last night. Was fun until he thought bohemian rhapsody was by The Who
i don't care if you are my best friend. does not give you the right to describe how well my sister gives blowjobs.
how about your cousin?
i should probably stop doing things just because i think they’re funny. i’m not going to.
Let's not forget that we had sex on the ground in public tonight.
Don’t eat the Doritos. Jeff was eating them while he was watching porn
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