I can't tonight. I'm still nursing a beach sex injury. Don't wanna talk about it.
U know its gonna be a great day when the guy at the liquor store waves at u cause u walked by
So he says he needs "alone time" a day that he doesnt have to deal with anyone. should i be concerned?
I think in guy language thats " Im fucking someone else and dont want u catching me"
would it be inappropriate to describe you with the phrase "bigass titties"?
You can tell alot about a person by their poo.. For example, he was a smoker.
If your 8 lb baby was ham it would serve 6-8 people
Her boobs were tiny. I could have used her bra as a blind fold. Which in hindsight would have made things a lot better.
i just had to wipe vomit off my fone to text you. yeah that hungover.
I found a wheel chair. there is now a high chance im going to be fired from this job
update: ifinallt managed t5o be in a. Horizontal position without throwing up... the snmall victories.
I just banged your sister. Thats what you get for takibg my lunch money in 2 grade, boom, boom fiyyaa powaa
They're having lesbian sex while I play super mario world. I hope they like the music
I have suspicion of morning wood.
How are you unsure as to the current state of your penis?
My ex's psycho new girlfriend found my vibrator I forgot at his place. Apparently she didn't find it as funny as I did. 😂
You seem to be avoiding the poop question. How did you poop on your hand?
Randomize
