Omg. Just talked to a semi driver from nebraska. Got her truck stuck. Gave her and her riding buddy a glass of vodka and a cig. YES.
Evryone should know as good ramen noodle cooked in beer sounds... its not
And i quote: "where's y'alls from comin' in with them accents?" - from a mississipi mcdonalds
New pre-game routine....wal-mart bathrooms...quality beers for free...hallelujah
Is it wrong that I didn't stop masterbating when the credit card company called?
did you answer or finish?
both
These guys are walking up and down the hallway yelling, "Yo, is this the floor with the unisex bathroom?"
how are you not completely traumatized after 8 years of friendship with me?
I've got a permanent seat at the "Girls who eat their feelings" table this weekend.
Just pulled a muscle trying to take a naked pic. I think it's time to start working out again.
I think that's why god made me a woman. Bc it's harder to slap people in the face with a vagina.
the amount of times i have been intoxicated, barefoot, and in a robe at 3 am at the quick check by your house is impressive, especially since i live an hour away
WHY DO I KEEP FINDING CHICKEN THROUGHOUT THE HOUSE? GET YOUR ASS HOME NOW!
Never thought I'd say this, but getting head from a skeleton was better than I thought. Happy Halloween
I don't drink nearly as much when I'm coupled, and that's not a lifestyle I can commit to
Apparently I have decided there are no repercussions for my actions
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