So my mom just called me into her room and showed me a condom wrapper she found in my room. "Oh that's from when I was like 16." I don't think that was very comforting.
I had fun last night. We should have sex less often.
There's a sign at Bashas for 30% off of 6 bottles of wine in Friday. That seems like a personal challenge.
i draw the line when you ask for directions at a place you're already at.
Ok, it is technically a gay bar but it's a total dive w/ strong drinks. The important thing is you can start drinking at 11:00 am without judgement
oh oh oh, and apparently you can bring in your own snacks. Some old dude just gave me cashews and cheetos.
I think I should advise against you hooking up with a guy that throws "the shocker" up in all of his pictures on facebook. Just sayin.
The bartender was shocked when I took the mop bucket from him and told him I'd take care of my friends puke.
So I'm thinking next semester you should be my own personal maid, nurse, masseuse and chef in exchange for free lodging, any food you can find, and unlimited access to my reproductive organs.
I am lonely and I want to touch your beard
Dude this weed smells so good they should make it into a Vicks vapor rub scent and I would rub it all over myself.
How much money would it take for the bouncer to get us beers while we wait in line to get in?
$450 apparently whoopwhoop
My ex came over to hook up...then I went on a date 2 hours later and got a bj. Single: Finally doing it right.
I'm telling you, this vagina is really making the rounds lately...
She called to tell me she just hooked up with my crush...and that he talked about me...not sure if I should be pissed or excited?
And somehow i feel like your expectations will turn out to be illegal in some way.
Randomize
