i'm sending her a home depot gift card for the hole i put in her wall. call it good?
I think he was having a seizure but nobody knew because 'what is love' was playing
Is it because I queefed?
He tried to pick up a girl by telling her about his homosexual experience in high school.
Trying not to fart in the comp lab is going to take everything i've got.
Just jerked off to Cameron Diaz in "My Sister's Keeper". New low.
You said, "can you make out with him for a little bit, I need a break."
hey dude come in here and see how much of my beard i can put in my mouth!
I'm giving you a get out of sober free card for one of the nights
The US State Dept doesn't need to know I'm a high strung drunken whore.
I want to get business cards and hand them to hot guys and say " hey if you ever want to like makeout and pretend it never happened call me"
When i left he was drinking an entire pot of coffee out of the pot with a straw. It's safe to say he's using a personal day
All those movies are bullshit, there is no way to run down a line of parked cars, they`re too far apart. my faces hurts so much right now
I just masturbated and watched youtube makeup videos, which was just an extension of masturbation.
He offered to dress his dick up as Charlie Chaplin to cheer me up.
Keep him.
Randomize
