so last night after we hooked up i got my period and woke up this morning with a blood stain on his bed and not only was it huge but i had put my jeans back on before bed so i took the walk of shame with period stained pants
I gave myself a pep talk in the library bathroom mirror. and then threw up in the sink.
Just finished off a roll of paper towels. Celebration blunt?
I don't understand but I'll be there in 5
Is there a fine for having sex in the back of a zipcar?
he couldnt get it up, so i stole his lighter. i needed to have some reason to say the night wasnt wasted
My grandpa is giving me detailed instructions on how to fight a second floor bedroom fire from a ladder on the out side. Just in case
Sometimes I envy you, when I'm not praying for your soul.
Sunrise bitch. You owe me waffles
They ran out of toilet paper, so I had a girl rip down the streamers so I could wipe.
Young lesbians are the worst. And also what got me through high school, sooooo
If this were a real emergency kilted men wielding claymores and riding giant badgers would hve rescued said Guinness. So clearly this is just a hypothetical
I am on my usual post-jerkoff high of eternal happiness. Like I could punch a fucking tiger.
Since I won't be making love with anyone on a bed of roses this year on Sunday I bought a Mustang to fill the gap
I drank all the wines... and all th Doritos. Whilst watching Fat Camp. I need to reassess my values.
I just saw a guy in a zippo shirt buy 2 gallons of fire starter fluid and then proceed to smoke a cigarette. I feel like hes got some big plans for his tuesday.
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