i was so high that i was eating crumbs of my bed only to realize they were fuzz thingies. fml.
GO HOME AND LIKE EVERYTHING ON COLT'S FACEBOOK UNTIL 2007.
Wtf it's a Friday night?
PRIORITIZE.
They set the pop up pool in the basement-running filter and all. Drunk swimming. Come now.
His dick is longer than my foot and I'm a size 9. I'm literally kicking myself in the vagina
fun fact: in my eskimo family tree i am the only brunette
I was going to make out with him...then he licked syrup off the kitchen floor.
Fucken Tweens. They smelled like cotton candy and hand jobs my nostrils were offended.
Not my type, but the penis looks fun.
Like he held up the condom afterwards, twirled it with his finger, and said "look at that load"
Being able to fart in her presence and not be judged is why I pay half the rent.
I got sprayed in the face with titty milk and I'm still so traumatized
There's a dude wearing a banana suit at the house across the street....
Just don't do anything stupid
i did a stupid sorry
Yeah I passed out. The last thing I remember is the lady telling me I couldn't play the clarinet with my nose.
He made me pay for half of dinner. Fucking feminist revolution.
Randomize
