i barfeds in our rink
I told him that he is like a snow storm I never know when he is coming, how many inches I will get, or how long it will last
I knew the sex would be bad when he slipped the rubber on and said "safe sex activated"
Some guy shouted fuck america during the national anthem, i decked him. They threw him out. USA USA USA!
Apparently I climbed into a dryer last night and refused to leave... There are pictures to prove it
He just "revenge puked" on her kid. I think we'll be leaving soon.
Straight up if I get stuck with her I'm going to drink myself into a prison cell.
Now all we have to do is pretend we haven't seen each other naked. Work tomorrow is going to be FUN.
I'm going to make a mold of my tits to bake a cake for him for our anniversary.. I can see the pride in his eyes now.
I know. he thinks we're 'meant to be'. No we're fucking not. God wouldn't give my soulmate a pencil dick.
I'm 50% weirded out and 50% into it
He called some chick he used to fuck for cash to get food delivered to cheer me up
You peed on a pole and declared to a cop that it was your pole and yelled at him to not even look at it, and then yelled at all of us for looking at it.
Apparently we carried the stove upstairs. I Woke up with it in my room.
I still maintain we were not that drunk......
Dude, Dimensionally it doesn't even fit in that stairway! We might have to knock a wall out to get it back down!
Clearly the Stanley Cup Finals good luck hand job IS necessary. You let the whole team down.
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