Have fun with your cool freestyling girlfriend!
She can rap better than you any day
She made a list of the things each of us had done wrong and assigned a point system. Guess who came out the loser?
Just had to explain my "wine me. Dine me. Sixty-nine me" key chain to my grandma...she took it surprisingly well.
He just found another high guy at wal-mart. There now friends. His friend is eating a cupcake
I don't want to get into details but it feels like there was a bear mauling involved. A very good bear mauling.
Just talked to Kate. She said I called her on Friday night. She said I was crying for 5 minutes because we were parked in front of a fire hydrant.
When I say drunk I mean that in the process of filming a fratstar cooking show they threw a keg into the street where the police came to clean it up. now all they can say is "THE KEG GOT ARRESTED."
I feel like getting drunk at the airport is sort of a rite of passage into adulthood, but maybe i should reserve that occasion for a flight thats not just 1 hr
I agreed not to hook up with any randoms while she's on vacation, if that isn't a show of good faith then I don't know what is...
Amazon.com "suggested" I buy both nipple clamps and opera gloves.
He could only go twice. I need a guy with more stamina and is less married
Did I put a bunch of spaghetti on you and then eat it off?!?
That you did
I lost my voice. So I'm going to pretend I'm Ariel with legs today.
Well I'm back. Could you fill me in on what I missed?
You don't want to know. Trust me.
I'm not saying I'm planning to hook up tomorrow but I'm also not saying I'm unprepared for it
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