My toast was "here's to being positive, and testing negative... Cheers!"... after that chick gagged on her shot, everyone knew.... slut.
We are so in love
so when's the next time you get to see your balls
Puked in a plastic neiman Marcus bag while driving. My biggest accomplishment yet
she said her black crocs were her 'dress up crocs'
and my loofah got caught on my nipple ring in the shower today. what an awful experience.
Moral of the story: don't get pregs or your chances in the beer league are over
My warmest regards to the fish in that koi pond I puked in.
I've got to stop making out with the guys and sharing drinks with you. I'm the reason we all get sick at the same time. Sorry.
I poured everyones drinks into the ice bucket and then stuck my face in it. Apparently I'm a greedy drunk.
Ugh I miss culture and lesbians already
It wasn't good. I can tell by the way he fucks me he watched too much porn
"Yeah because the first thing I think of when I hear the word college is tear gas."
he is sitting in the driveway by himself laughing at nothing, idk what to do
My boss is explaining why he thinks time goes by faster and faster. Bc of the rockets. No lie.
So random question: what's a good way to tell your brother that his Skype sex kept you awake last night? I'm not really sure how that conversation begins.
Randomize
