That was rough. We had a 50% puke rate and 100% still drunk rate at lunch
If Rob Pattinson gets another fucking MTV award, I'm going to vomit.
I woke up this morning under my fitted sheet and my legs through the sleeves of my sweater.
Turning 21 on Saint Patty's day. I like to think this is what my alcoholic ancestors have prepared me for
apparently it was the return of drunk burrito sex.
Now one day I will be able to tell my children how a drag queen in a gay bar told mommy that bin laden was dead
still in the ER. she tried to shotgun a bottle of corona
The bar has bullet holes in the ceiling, and the country singer had been playing drunken weezer covers. A man just bought me a beer on the grounds that I 'have his back' in a fist fight with a stranger texan. And, yes, the bartender is wearing a sherif's badge
Being drunk is way better. Seriously, I just licked your brother to make sure my spit was actually real.
Also, the greatest of ironies: I got shampoo confiscated by security while Corey managed to get pot through. MERICA!
I have a terrible feeling that I made out with a fraternity last night
She made me a smoothie in the morning.. It was vodka and fruit.
I need to be her Aladdin, and show her the world. The sex world.
You casually put your finger in my ass and other people are weird..
I jus want to remember tomorrow how proud I was tonight for wearing my rainbow leggings as a long sleeved shrug I feel like fucking MacGuyver
Randomize
