I just opened a gallon of milk that is good through the 10th of January- I hope I can say the same for myself.
Dude, she uses Old Spice. It smelled like I was eating out my grandfather.
I just spiked the applesauce. Try to tell me again your party is better.
She came to college a virgin and left on court order. We ruined her.
no more heavy drinking durning the lady that cleans the office told me i have to emtpy my own thrash if i puke in it
The usual, bring face make up, I have a weird gash on my nose, probably from my one night stand
I mostly enjoyed dancing with him because his boner was scratching my bug bites.
i feel we're the only people who'd use nyquil sexually
most of the afternoon was spent sneaking around my house and alternating which bathrrom to throw up in.
I hate him. I fucked every one of his friends AND his fat brother and he still won't break up with me.
Man my junk looks like a mangled grapefruit right now, this shit sucks.
I got pushed into some bald man in the pit and spent the next few minutes with my face against his head. Man I love ecstasy.
I snapchatted his face mid sex. Needless to say, I don't think I'll ever see him again.
I like it here so far, only people are a lot less accepting of my terrible decisions and it's cramping my style
I swear to God if you start calling your dick “my pegasus” we’re not friends anymore
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