Did u get laid? I went and bought lube and fleshlighted it while moaning ur name the whole time.
I can only speak casual parseltoungue, im not bad though. just the general, "wheres the bathroom?" "open the chamber of secrets" that type of stuff
Rylan was made in your driveway. Just thought, as godfather, you should know.
Just found out you can rent the rollerena for 100 bucks and you can bring your own beer... when are you free this week?
It's official. I'm a squirter. Wasn't a one time thing.
Preparing for thanksgiving at home now by chugging bourbon. Less than a month to train!
well she hit her head and had a concussion. i had to make out with her to keep her awake.
He said I could liberate his beef and all I could think about was how I don't eat veal for political reasons.
Okay I take that back some girl just said pussy sweat. Get me outta here
just got home to find my brothers naked on the floor covered in chocolate. i am now nervous about sleeping in the same room as them
So the day after the 4th I'm sitting here drinking Molson and watching NHL free agent frenzy. From patriotic American to drunken Canadian in 24 hours flat. Booyah.
I'm gonna guess ur still high cus last night at like 3am my pillows were morphing into cats and I kept trying to pet them
You seriously don't remember crying about how much you miss your mom right before we hooked up?
George disappeared two hours ago with a stripper named "delicious." Haven't seen him since
bitch, i have a flask. i've got things under control.
god. marry me.
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