Showering in the handicapped shower. Im THAT hungover.
of course he's cheating on me, she's 100x prettier and she can do the splits
I must say your penis is just as photogenic as you
I think I'm going to wait until after Halloween to call off the wedding. No need to ruin my favorite holiday.
This is the most scared i've been of my hands since i did shrooms.
Mandatory 420 Adventure Time.
This is why we're friends.
Ummm didn't i have pubes when i went to bed last night?
Watching the wiggles while tripping on acid is the scariest fucking thing of all time
I am stoned at Disneyland with my little brother. It's gonna be a good day.
Welp, I just herniated a vocal cord during sex. How was your night?
Thanks for ruining my life with your man penis
Stop letting me drink while doing my makeup. I think I used sharpie for eyeliner.
The neighbors in the apartment above us are at it again. The roleplay this time is cop and prostitute. I give it 30 minutes, you? Already sounds better than the last one
I ate cake in bed. Felt great
I'm listening to a women in metal station and wearing a flannel. I may have approached peak lesbian.
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