i want you now
you need to stop dating girls with the same name as your mother...or stop drinking so much...I don't want to see this
Kanye's agent is the only person whose job sucks worse than mine.
While drunk it seemed like a good idea to barricade my roommate in his room with everything that we could move in our apartment, waking up to him screaming from it collapsing on top of him was just an added bonus.
he's washing the lighter in the sink and telling me to picture unicorns. requesting backup.
oh my god, there is an imprint from the nuva ring in the christmas card my mom sent me. merry christmas.
Lame. Party is tapping out at 4am. Even chanting "USA" didn't rally them.
It'd probably just be a lot of profanity and hyperventilation and deteriorating into tears anyways
so just a regular conversation then
I spent the morning naked in her roommates closet because her parents decided to come over after church..
I threw a dessert topping at a baby tonight so drink up! If you stay sober tonight I will be very disappointed in you.
IT IS NICKEL SHIT NIGHT
*shot. Why
Do you wanna do something, or just stare at each other and fantasize about death like we usually do
Okay so I've been talking to the mice again and they agree with me that you're a piece of shit.
Dad danced on top of the bar with me last night. And has a video of me doing a beer bong.
He just looks like he'd be good in bed. He looks like he has a lot of anger built up in him and all I'm saying is that if he took out on my vagina I'm cool with that
Yelled "don't taze me bro" as the police officer tazed me. Cross it off the list.
Randomize
