So is chris hansen cool in person? Or is it just awkward while you wait for the cops?
I have new birth control, three bottles of jack, and some coupons for micky d's. You wanna have that sleepover?
He passed out while I was riding him, and just when I was about to call it quits he opens his eyes and squeezes my boobs and goes Honk! Honk!
Just drive me around campus, I will be able to smell their innocence.
I have to overdose on valtrex I had a rough weekend.
She looked at my cock with a kind of resigned disappointment.
Neighbor who got arrested at 3am just said he'd split the $ with me if I testify as the witness in his police brutality trial. He was also holding a baby and a case of beer.
I peed in my sheets during a dream. Like straight up. A whole new drunk.
I told my dad my stomach hurt and he bet me ten bucks I couldn't throw up on command. He has no idea what I did last night and I got ten bucks.
"willing to pay anyone fun whos willing to hang out and laugh at my jokes while my friends are MIA" is this to desperate?
I just had a great idea for an etsy shop. Sell all the shit bitches leave from one nighters
My roommates said duck dynasty was stupid ... toto i don't believe we're in kansas anymore.
So vagazzling was a success
I kept screaming at his rabbit: "IT'S OKAY, YOU CAN HAVE SOME TRIX. FUCK THOSE SELFISH BITCHES."
Just so you know, you called at 2 last night and kept making me tell you that I loved you and then when you got home you thanked me for walking you home. Incase you forgot, I'm still about 200 miles away.
Randomize
