Can you still call it a wet dream if sandwiches were involved?
I woke up naked, with 10 visible bite marks and a black eye. I'm just going to assume that it was a good night.
I love memorial day. It's drinking in the name of patriotism. God Bless America
In line at the grocery store. The girl ahead of me is in a wetsuit and just bought 3 cases of beer and a bottle of vodka. I want to go where she's going...
I was pissed last night bc this girl didn't want to have sex but offered to reimburse me for the condoms. That just made me upset
I don't know if it was his cologne or his Jesus hair, but he was much more fuckable than last time I saw him.
Now that I think about it, it may have been the 6 pitchers of beer.
Come on. I'll make you hot pockets. Literally and sexually.
Your CAR. Is in a LAKE. I'd say "a big mess" is a pretty conservative description of the situation.
Myy bathroom floor makes me think I'm on Mars. Also. Did you realize that yesterday we perfected thee mind high-five??
Any day that has a special name thats capitalized means you need to need to call in sick and get day drunk. That's why they are there.
As we were about to go at it, his roommates barged in singing jumper by third eye blind. Weirdest almost one night stand ever.
WE SHOULD MAKE A WORKOUT ROUTINE CALLED BARCARDIO
Lol woke up with mangoes in bed with me
I don't know what else is in your wedding gift, but I just pulled out a pair of handcuffs in front of her grandmother.
Also a whip and a blindfold. Don't be a bitch, enjoy it!
So how do u get your coat out of the coat room when someone is fucking on it?
Randomize
