I think she heard me call her a fat skank. But she was to be fair.
I can tuck mytits in my pants
I made out with four boys last night, AND EXCUSE ME WHILE I COUNT HOW MANY GIRLS.
i think the cat found all the blow we lost...
We'll probably be arrested for having a cheetah in our apartment anyway, so I say go for it.
life is no where near the amusement park it was when I was on Vicodin.
You told him you loved him!?
I mean if he translated "Zi luve ku" as that then yes.
By round 4 of the Dead End shots, I thought my jaw was dislocated ... Best invention EVER.
I honestly didn't see the problem playing beer pong In the car on the road trip home.
That's the second time in a week someone has called me to talk drunk you into getting up off the floor. This needs to stop.
Oh by "being festive" I mean make tacos for dinner.
I just want to return to LA when the weed and dick is plentiful.
I think my dove chocolate wrapper just told me to masturbate.
I sent my boyfriend to the bar so I could go out tonight and actually get laid..
You didnt text me.. I'm on your street with golf clubs
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