We need to either start getting drunk more often or one of us need to start doin drugs
Wtf? Why?
I want awesome conversations to show the world.
Eating in charleston sc at a seafood place called "hymans". Like normal I had no problem finding it.
just asked if they'd gift wrap go-go taquitos for you at 7-eleven
Have you ever wondered what your stripper song would be?
I just had a 30 minute conversation about hummingbirds. That high.
I miss high conversations.
Swinging. Is. Amazing.
They said an hour before I even see a doctor...and they noticed the shots tally on my arm.
Fortunately for myself I'm twice as smart and half as drunk as everyone else. All things considered I'm leaving here three-to-five times richer than when I arrived.
My dad just sent me a text reminding me to bring the family beer pong championship belt. Thanksgiving 2012 just got real
He says he invented a new sex move called The Redbird that we can only do when I'm on my period. Should I be concerned?
See this is where I mess up.. I get distracted by the option of consistent sex and free beer
He told me that he'd ride his snowmobile from Cincinnati to Toledo in this blizzard just so I could give him head.
I'm rolling and just noticed that the thread count on these sheets is horrendous.
Yeah well I just had an orgasm on my bathroom floor so there's a first for everything I guess
How did i get home and why am i wearing someone elses shorts?
1. Not sure how 2. You showed up naked, we had to dress you.
What's an appropriate gift to bring to my boyfriend's wife's baby shower?
Shame?
Randomize
